That Time Mindy Kaling Gave Me A Gut Check

So here’s a spoiler alert for your Sunday afternoon: My name is Beth. I am a nerd. I love to read.

I had to stop reading for a while because it felt like it was all I wanted to do. And I never want one hobby to be all-consuming. But I recently picked back up the book reading device and started reading through the list of books I made while I wasn’t reading [nerd alert].

On the list was Mindy Kaling’s Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (And Other Concerns). It’s proving to be as funny as I hoped it would be. I think the book’s central message can somewhat be summed up by: “So you’re in high school and you’re kind of a nerd but you’re into cool stuff and that’s going to work out for you in the end. So be a good person and don’t do stupid stuff and, ultimately, with enough drive you’ll be able to achieve your dreams” [or something like that].

I’m reading the book. It’s funny. I’m laughing. And then all sudden she pulls out:

“I don’t think it should be socially acceptable for people to say they are “bad with names”. No one is bad with names. That is not a real thing. Not knowing people’s names isn’t a neurological condition: it’s a choice. You chose not to make learning people’s names a priority. It’s like saying, “Hey, a disclaimer about me: I’m rude.”

Woah, Mindy.

Woah.

Lucy Lately

[While watching Busytown Mysteries]
Pig Will and Pig Won’t walk across the screen.
“Those two, always arguing.”

Lucy: “Mom, do you think Dad will take us to eat at The Buffet?”
Me: “The buffet? I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Lucy: “You know the place with the slide and the chicken that doesn’t make me sick.”
Me: “Do you mean Chick-fil-a?”
Lucy: “Yeah, that’s what I said.”
[Same number of syllables! Say it fast!]

Lucy: “Who’s going to make me a card!?”
Me: “You don’t get a card, silly, it’s Mother’s Day!”
Lucy: “Well, when is kid’s day?”

“Landon! We get to go to kindlegarten where we’ll watch a bunch of shows.”

“Mom, can you let Cassie’s mom know that we won’t be able to go to their house today because I missed the opportunity to choose good behavior?” [She IS listening!]

“Landon, do you want to crush some candy with me?”

[Talking of a little boy, who is a friend.]
“Do you mean his mommy is the only one who gets to kiss him!?
[Gulp. Jesus take the wheel.]

“Cohen, do you want to sit on a Lucy chair? I won’t drop you!”

[In Whole Foods.]
Lucy: “Baaaaaah! The conveyor belt ate my crackers. I’m never going to get crackers again. [Literally crying. Literally.]”
Cashier: “Rough morning?”
Me: “I honestly have no idea what you’re talking about.”
Cashier: [Raises eyebrows.]
Me: “Oh I’m sorry. I was talking to her. Yeah, I guess she’s having a rough morning.”
Lucy: “Ooooooh, I searched for those crackers and picked them out and carried them through the store and the conveyor belt just ate them! What am I going to do!? I’m staaaaaaaarving! I’m so hungry. I’m staaaaaaaarving!”
Me: “Do you mean these crackers?”
Lucy: “Oh. Cool. Thanks, mom.”

Funny Story

You guys, I’m going to call this week a ‘lost week’. Ever had one of those? We had a full week of fevers and sickness. Days were a little blurry. We stayed home a lot. I wiped a lot of noses and administered a lot of doses. I hit the mat and cried mercy to tag Chuck in a few times. We watched a lot of shows. We were not so productive and I have the mounds of laundry to prove it. It was a triple whammy kind of week for sure. It felt like everything piled up, you know, on top of me.

But here we are, coming through the other side: Mother’s Day! A day to celebrate me [and you know, all of you amazing mamas too]. And I felt so, so celebrated. From the homemade card that Lucy made, “that I should keep with me for always to remember what she looked like as a baby.” An unexpected card from a friend with sweet words. Seeing so many of my favorite friends. Lunch. In a restaurant. [You know what I’m talking about.] A fruitful trip to my favorite thrift store. The whole day was divine, though I am ready to see my own mama!

[I think she really captured “the essence” of my hair.]

Today’s turn around really got me thinking. Looking back on last week, and admitting it’s all blurry, it’s best to look back on it like a comedy– though maybe it’s still fresh enough to feel like one of those bad sitcoms where you think, “there’s no way all that bad stuff would happen to one person in one week.”

So I started looking at the rest of 2014 for a funny story.

I thought back to Good Friday when Landon got his heart monitor. Of having a two-and-a-half year old wear a heart monitor. Nay, “wear” a heart monitor. Because he’s been spending his nap-time pulling the stickers off and eating the “jelly” that stays between his skin and the electrodes. Funny. And disgusting. And I didn’t realize it for several “confusing” diapers. Kids are gross.

[That’s right, bud.]

I started thinking about the struggle we’ve had with Lucy for the first part of this year. Four-years-old is sassy. And emotional. And temperamental. And illogical. And then I thought of “Lucy Lately“. There’s enough humor in those posts to last me for a few hard days.

I thought of the last few months we’ve been waiting for Cohen to get old enough for allergy testing. My sweet baby itching so much. His skin so irritated. Then a friend reminded me today of his laugh a few weeks ago. When he first started laughing he would let out these deep, rolling belly laughs but his face wouldn’t move. Stoic. It was amazing. Honestly, he still doesn’t have it figured out. Hehe.

Cohen’s Laugh from Beth Baker on Vimeo.

So when Chuck comes home I want to start by telling him the stories of the day that I can make funny. And once I get through those, maybe I’ll tell the rest. Maybe.