Lucy Lately

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[While watching Busytown Mysteries]
Pig Will and Pig Won’t walk across the screen.
“Those two, always arguing.”

Lucy: “Mom, do you think Dad will take us to eat at The Buffet?”
Me: “The buffet? I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Lucy: “You know the place with the slide and the chicken that doesn’t make me sick.”
Me: “Do you mean Chick-fil-a?”
Lucy: “Yeah, that’s what I said.”
[Same number of syllables! Say it fast!]

Lucy: “Who’s going to make me a card!?”
Me: “You don’t get a card, silly, it’s Mother’s Day!”
Lucy: “Well, when is kid’s day?”

“Landon! We get to go to kindlegarten where we’ll watch a bunch of shows.”

“Mom, can you let Cassie’s mom know that we won’t be able to go to their house today because I missed the opportunity to choose good behavior?” [She IS listening!]

“Landon, do you want to crush some candy with me?”

[Talking of a little boy, who is a friend.]
“Do you mean his mommy is the only one who gets to kiss him!?
[Gulp. Jesus take the wheel.]

“Cohen, do you want to sit on a Lucy chair? I won’t drop you!”

[In Whole Foods.]
Lucy: “Baaaaaah! The conveyor belt ate my crackers. I’m never going to get crackers again. [Literally crying. Literally.]”
Cashier: “Rough morning?”
Me: “I honestly have no idea what you’re talking about.”
Cashier: [Raises eyebrows.]
Me: “Oh I’m sorry. I was talking to her. Yeah, I guess she’s having a rough morning.”
Lucy: “Ooooooh, I searched for those crackers and picked them out and carried them through the store and the conveyor belt just ate them! What am I going to do!? I’m staaaaaaaarving! I’m so hungry. I’m staaaaaaaarving!”
Me: “Do you mean these crackers?”
Lucy: “Oh. Cool. Thanks, mom.”

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